The Role of Career Women in Creating a Sakīnah Family: From Mubādalah (Mutuality) Perspective

: The Role of Career Women in Creating a Sakînah Family: From Mubâdalah (Mutuality) Perspective. Career women have dual roles, first as a wife and second as a worker. This dual role, either directly or indirectly, will affect their ability to manage domestic life. This study tries to examine this phenomenon through the perspective of mubâdalah (mutuality) from Faqihuddin Abdul Kodir. The aim is to find out the success/failure of how career women reconcile their roles as housewives as well as career women. This research is qualitative by using a socio-legal approach. Data were collected using in-depth interview techniques conducted with several female lecturers at IAIN Salatiga. This study finds the fact that the perspective of Mubâdalah (Mutuality) theory, when drawn into the realm of family life of female lecturers at IAIN Salatiga, is in line because Mubâdalah theory requires a balance of relations between husband and wife and the elimination of gender bias to create a harmonious and prosperous family life.


Introduction
Marriage is a sacred promise between a man and a woman based on mutual love to build a sakînah (harmonious and prosperous) family. 1 Sakînah family life is indeed the dream of all married couples, although, making it happen is not as easy as imagined. Every family life is sure to encounter various problems. Sometimes the problems are simple, but not infrequently they are dilematic and complex. When a husband and wife can face or resolve the problems that arise, it is very likely that the goal of a sakînah family can be achieved. 2 In the era of globalization, the life problems faced by modern families are increasingly difficult and complex. 3 Many challenges must be faced, one of which is related to the impact of increasingly sophisticated communication and information technology. Not a few married couples are forced to divorce because of cases of infidelity that started from meetings on social media. 4 This is where the role of religion is needed in household life because only by adhering to religious teachings can a husband/wife survive temptations that can destroy the household integrity. 5 Another thing that also has the potential to disrupt the integrity of the household is the issue of demands for equal treatment. Women feel that their space for movement is limited by cultural barriers blocking their potential to develop. Many of them feel marginalized or even imprisoned in an invisible space. To break away from the unconducive,cultural confines many women seek a way out through the gates of higher education and work in several professions. 6 With a higher educational background, they hope that they can have great opportunities to compete with men and get better jobs, just like men. 7 In this modern era, many women have obtained higher education, allowing them to actualize their knowledge in job market.. By working, a woman will automatically have a dual role, namely as a housewife and at the same time as a breadwinner. Indeed, when viewed from a religious perspective, there is no prohibition for women to work for a living. Even so, before choosing to work, women still have to pay attention to the interests of their families and consider the positive and negative impacts of their choice. 8 A woman who enters the world of career is not only to develop her potential in pursuing her own achievements and career but also to support the improvement of the family economy. 9 The problem is that when a married woman works outside the home, their role as a housewife with a series of obligations towards her husband and children will automatically be disrupted. 10 In this reality, a career woman will be faced with a difficult and dilemmatic choice; On the one hand, she has to carry out the role of a good housewife, on the other hand, the demands of a career require her to focus her thoughts and time on carrying out a series of obligations that she inevitably has to fulfill. 11 The phenomenon described above shows that the study of career women, juxtaposed with their role as housewives from a mutuality DOI: https://doi.org/10.24042/al-'adalah.v19i1.11579 perspective, is an interesting thing to do. Not only to find out what challenges they face in their position as career women but also to see how far the impact is on the integrity and continuity of the family. This last point is important, considering that the family is the smallest institution in the social structure but has a big role in the life of the nation and state. For this reason, the author tries to examine this phenomenon by choosing IAIN Salatiga lecturers as the object of study. IAIN Salatiga was chosen because it is the only State Islamic Religious College located in the city of Salatiga, a city that is cool and fresh because it is located at the foot of Mount Merbabu, 12 and has the title of being the most tolerant city in Indonesia. 13 It must be admitted, however, the study conducted here is not the first to be carried out. Previously, many researchers have discussed this topic and expressed it in the form of articles or discussion presentations. Among the researchers who have specifically studied this topic include:  20 In contrast to previous studies, this research uses the perspective of mubâdalah (mutuality) theory of Faqihuddin Abdul Kodir; The use of this perspective is the differentiating point as well as the novelty of this research from previous studies.

Research Methods
This research is qualitative 21 in nature using a socio-legal approach. 22 Qualitative research is an in-depth study conducted by a researcher based on data or information obtained through certain sources. 23 Through the use of a sociological perspective, this study aims to objectively and comprehensively investigate phenomena or events that occur in society regarding the interactions and behavior of career women in creating a sakînah family, without giving a right or wrong judgment to a phenomenon being studied. Data were collected through interview techniques conducted DOI: https://doi.org/10.24042/al-'adalah.v19i1.11579 with several eleven female lecturers at IAIN Salatiga. Through this study, it is hoped that a clear and objective picture will be obtained to figure out how female lecturers at IAIN Salatiga balance the demands of their roles as housewives and their roles as career women in the context of forming a sakînah family. Through this perspective, it will be seen whether or not the female lecturers at IAIN Salatiga succeed in reconciling their dual roles to the fullest.

The Concept of Mubâdalah of Faqihuddin Abdul Kodir
Faqihuddin Abdul Kodir Faqihuddin is an Indonesian feminist figure who is concerned about equality between men and women. In his view, a man and a woman should not be distinguished based on their natural gender. 24 For this reason, he proposed the theory of Mubâdalah (mutuality) which stress a balanced relationship between a man and a woman, and the absence of gender bias, if the husband and wife want a long-lasting, harmonious and prosperous family life. 25 In interpreting the concept of mubâdalah, Faqihuddin uses three basic principles; First, Islam comes with texts related to men and women, so the text must lead to both; Second, the principle of the relationship between men and women must be balanced, not one-sided; Third, Islamic texts still open space for interpretation. 26 From these three foundations, Faqihuddin developed what he calls the term mubâdalah as a concept as well as a method for finding the main content meaning of every text read through the principles of balance between men and women.
According to Faqihuddin, the main goal to be achieved by mubâdalah theory is to balance the relationship between a man and a woman, so that there is no more inequality between them, or male superiority 24  and female inferiority which can harm either party. 27 The concept of mubâdalah (mutuality) in fostering a sakînah household among career women is absolute and important and must continue to be nurtured and developed so that the integrity and continuity of the family can be maintained. If taken to a broader level, the principle of mubâdalah aims to prevent inequality and a sense of injustice among human beings as God's creatures. By applying the principle of reciprocity (mubâdalah), a balance between men and women in the realm of family life can be created and there will be no bias among them. Even though in daily reality there are still many disparities between men and women in family life, by applying this theory to household, it can be expected that the inequalities between husband and wife can be gradually eliminated so that the goals in the household, namely a sense of justice, can be realized. 28

Career Women's Poblematics in Creating a Sakînah Family
The results of interviews conducted with several female lecturers at IAIN Salatiga indicate that several obstacles must face career women to create a sakînah family. The obstacles include the following: a. Less time spent with family members Inadequate time to be with family is one of the common consequences that must be faced by career women. As stated by one of the informants, the demands of work that must be carried out require them to leave their homes and remain in the office. This causes them to be separated from their husbands/children for eight hours each day. Only outside working hours or on Saturdays and Sundays are they free so they can use it to gather with their families. 29 b. Decreasing intensity of communication with family consequence that must be faced by women lecturers. They have to leave early for work in the morning and be back late in the afternoon, leaving their families at least five days a week. This was acknowledged by all the informants interviewed by the authors. According to them, the profession of a lecturer required them to remain on campus and reduced the intensity of communication with their family members. When there is a lot of work, communication with family, both with husband and children, must be cut off for a while. 30 This is natural because indeed the world of work requires them to concentrate on their work and temporarily ignore all other matters outside the work area.

c. Fatigue
Fatigue is the third obstacle that must be faced by all women workers, wherever and in whatever field they are. The abundance of tasks that must be done at work causes their energy to be drained a lot and results in a feeling of fatigue. This fatigue continues because when they arrive home many household chores still need to be done and that means their energy and minds will be drained again. Based on the interview results, almost all informants (female lecturers/career women) admitted that they often felt tired from the existing workload; but the obligation must still be carried out. 31

d. Lots of household chores left
The majority of informants said that office work takes up a lot of time. As a result, household chores are often left out. This is because most of their time is spent at the office rather than at home. Therefore, when there is a lot of office work, it eventually makes them feel tired and many household chores are neglected. The issue of biological relations is indeed important and decisive for the integrity and continuity of a household. Islam itself has stipulated that it is obligatory to provide a living, both physically and mentally. The unavailability of time and opportunity for husband and wife to channel their biological desires can result in the emptiness of intimacy and harmonious relationships. between the two that will, in turn, disrupt household harmony. One of the informants, with the initials SM., explained to the author that spiritual maintenance is an obligation that must be fulfilled by a husband and wife. However, because most of these married couples are all working, this need is not fulfilled. The problem of distance and adequate time does not allow them to meet often to channel their biological desires. To get around this need, most of the informants used weekends as quality time, which was filled with sightseeing and staying at hotels to have the opportunity to channel their biological desires. In this way, their marriage relationship can be maintained in harmony. 32 In reality, this career woman's household was not disturbed by the above constraints Their relationship was fine because they understood each other's duties and responsibilities. This tendency, when connected with the theory of mubâdalah, seems to be in line.

Some Supporting Factors
Even though the burdens and obstacles faced by career women are heavy and tiring their households continue to run harmoniously, and peacefully and none of the families end in divorce. Several factors support the success of female lecturers at IAIN Salatiga in carrying out their dual roles. These factors include the following: a. Husband support Husband's support is a major factor in determining the success of career women in carrying out their dual roles. Without support from their husbands, wives cannot work outside the home and leave their families. Regarding this support, almost all of the informants interviewed admitted that their husband's support helped them in carrying out their roles as career women as well as housewives. As stated by A.A., her husband supports her in pursuing a career as a lecturer, as long as all the work is not a burdensome burden. The husband doesn't mind because he understands that his wife must be able to develop herself so that she can be an example for her children in the future. 33

b. Good communication
Communication is the main key to building a good family life. Without good communication, family life will certainly be disrupted. The importance of communication in maintaining household integrity was seriously realized by all informants (career women) interviewed by the authors. With good communication, all problems can be resolved, so that misunderstandings that have the potential to cause disputes and household conflicts can be prevented or avoided. 34 Good communication is needed in realizing a sakînah family because with good communication problems in the family can be solved wisely and reduce misunderstandings that can trigger conflicts in family life.
Regarding communication between family members, the informants stated that despite their busy schedules, they still made time to communicate with their families. They do this by phone, just say hello and find out about each other's condition. As stated by Mrs. E, even though she works from morning to evening, in her free time, she always communicates with her children and husband, even if only briefly. This was done to find out their condition and make sure they were all okay, as well as to cure their longing. 35

c. Common vision and perception
In family life, it is very necessary to have a vision and perception or the same view, not only between husband and wife but also among children. When a common vision and perception have been built, all family members can understand each other's situation and position, so that conflicts in the household can be minimized because they already understand their respective positions, duties, and responsibilities. As expressed by Mrs. E, when she feels tired, the children have a lot of household chores and the husband is also tired of working, they understand each other's situation and position so that emotional disturbances can be suppressed. 36 The similarity of vision and perception is needed in family life because in family life there will always be problems. By understanding each other's situations and conditions, peace and tranquility in the household will be created, and this is one of the manifestations of a sakînah family life. With the same perception, when a problem arises, they will try to hold back and not prioritize their own emotions and ego. 37 d. Mutual trust and understanding of each other's roles and duties Mutual trust and understanding of each other's roles and duties are very important in family life. This applies not only to career women but also to all families. With mutual trust, there will be no feeling of misgivings, suspicions, or jealousy towards other parties which in the end can disrupt household harmony. As revealed by GZ's mother, they have built mutual trust from the beginning of their marriage. Especially with the condition of working outside the home where interactions with many people are common, and not only limited to the same sex but also different types. With mutual trust, the mind will be calm and not easily consumed by slander DOI: https://doi.org/10.24042/al-'adalah.v19i1.11579 or negative issues that can disrupt household harmony. 38 Apart from mutual trust, career women's families must also instill an attitude of mutual understanding's roles and responsibilities. This means that a husband whose wife works must understand the weight of the burden of being a housewife as well as being a breadwinner. He must be able to understand the role and duties of his wife, and if necessary take over household duties or chores that his wife cannot complete. This was revealed by SM's mother who admitted that in her family the husband often helps or takes over household chores that his wife cannot complete; This makes a very big contribution to household harmony. 39 e. Mutual openness, understanding, and appreciation An attitude of mutual openness, mutual understanding, and respect for one another must exist and be embedded in every member of family life. Even though it seems trivial, this trait is the foundation or basis for building a family so that family life will be good. With mutual openness, suspicion and misunderstanding will be prevented, as well as with mutual understanding and respect, the relationship between each party can run harmoniously and at the same time the goal of marriage can be realized, namely to form a sakînah family. 40 f. Balanced division of roles A balanced division of roles is always put forward because career women are rarely at home, usually leaving in the morning and returning home in the evening. This means that there must be an equal division of roles between husband and wife, because if not then the potential for conflict between husband and wife will be even greater. As stated by the majority of informants, being a career woman is not easy. They have to share responsibility between husband and wife, because when the wife and the same work, both of them must be able to understand each other when there is 38 Ibid 39 Mrs. G and Mrs, Z, Lecturers, Interview on July 13, 2020. 40 Mrs, AA, Mrs. C, Mrs. H, Mrs. N, and Mrs.Z., Lecturers, Interview on July 9, 2020. a shortage in the household. For example: when there is no food prepared at home, the husband must be able to understand, because that is one of the consequences for a wife who works from morning to evening. It's little things like that that you have to get used to from the start so that life in the family is always harmonious. 41 g. Commitment to maintaining the household All career women interviewed stated that they have a strong commitment to keeping their families intact. This commitment is also shared by their husbands and greatly influences the harmony of their family life. To show this commitment, the career women studied when they were at home no longer thought about work matters but concentrated on household chores and spending time with their families. Often they also spend time on weekends for the family under the pretext of making up for lost time due to work. 42 h. Take care of each other's love Love and compassion are God's gifts to humans and become the basis of every human life. When love and affection grow well between two people, the relationship between the two people will certainly go well. Love and affection are also the main foundation when two people are getting married. When a marriage is built on this basis, the family life will likely be happy. In contrast, when a marriage is not based on love and affection, it is quite certain that in the future there will be many problems that arise in it. Thus, love and affection must always be maintained in household life, and must always be grown as much as possible. With this feeling, family life will always be harmonious.
As stated by one of the interviewees, L, she and her husband always maintain a sense of love and affection in the family, both in good and bad times. Since the beginning of their marriage they have committed to always love one another regardless of the existing conditions. Even though there are often problems in the household, DOI: https://doi.org/10.24042/al-'adalah.v19i1.11579 they can always solve them well because they are based on mutual love. In this way, they hope that the goal of marriage, namely a sakînah family, can be achieved. 43 i. Supportive work environment The work environment has a significant role in the household life of a career woman. Based on the results of interviews conducted by researchers, the majority of career women admit that they often receive support from colleagues when there is a workload that cannot be completed for one reason or another. This positive co-worker attitude for a career woman is very meaningful, especially when they are in a difficult situation, such as illness, and there is a sudden need that makes it impossible for them to complete the tasks they are responsible for. 44 j. Increase in the family economy Increasing the family economy is also a supporting factor for career women in creating a sakînah family. It is logical that when the family's economy improves, the road to happy family life becomes wide open. Conversely, if the family's economy is not good, the potential for stress and conflict to emerge in the family will be enormous and it often ends in divorce. As stated by Mrs. N, since she started working, her family's economy is getting better and she can help cover her personal and family needs. She no longer ever asks her husband for money to meet personal needs, for example for self-care, because she can fulfill this with her own money. Working, thus, can help the family economy as well as will facilitate the path to a prosperous family. 45 Observing the reality among career women (lecturers) at IAIN Salatiga as described above, it appears that career women face many challenges and obstacles in maintaining a balance between the demands of their family and their profession. These constraints are common and 43 Mrs. H. Mrs. ZL, Mrs. H, and Mrs.Z., Lecturers, Interview on July 9, 13, 2020. 44 Mrs. AA, Mrs. C, Mrs. H, Mrs. N, and Mrs.Z., Lecturers, Interview on July 9, and 13, 2020. 45 Ibid common in career women's household life. There are almost no married career women who do not encounter these obstacles because it is a consequence for all housewives who choose to work outside the home. 46 It must be admitted that the effort to create a sakînah family life is not an easy thing. It takes hard work and serious enthusiasm so that these ideals can be realized. The form of hard work is to understand the rights and obligations of husband and wife because by carrying out these rights and obligations, family life can be good. 47 In addition to the demands for mutually understanding positions, support from the husband, mutual trust and understanding of one another, as well as intense communication between career women and their husbands and family members are other facts that also influence the success of career women in running their business, dual role.
Apart from the obstacles and constraints above, based on the facts that the author obtained, it can be said that the relations in the family life of female lecturers at IAIN Salatiga generally go well. This is shown by maintaining harmonious relations in their family and none of them experienced a divorce. If this is juxtaposed with the mubidalah theory, the phenomenon can be said to be following existing principles, especially in realizing the balance of roles and relationships between a career woman and her husband. This kind of situation is desired by the concept of mutuality (mubâdalah) to realize the ideals of a peaceful, harmonious, and prosperous household.

Conclusion
Based on the findings and discussion above, it can be concluded that the efforts of female lecturers at IAIN Salatiga to create a sakînah family amidst the demands of their careers and roles as housewives often DOI: https://doi.org/10.24042/al-'adalah.v19i1.11579 encounter severe and tiring obstacles. However, so far, these obstacles can be overcome and have not had much effect on the integrity and continuity of their household relationship. This success was largely supported by the husband's support, intense communication with fellow family members, mutual understanding and trust in one another, and mutual understanding of the weight of the demands of each party's duties. This reality, if examined through the perspective of mubâdalah, can be said to be in line.